This is NOT about songs by Jennifer Rush, Celine Dion, Frankie Goes to Hollywood or Huey Lewis. It is however about the power of love in building relationships and how to find out what you can do to improve yours.
A Mother's Love
Twenty-two years ago, my parents and I had a falling out. I did not go home again for the next twenty-one years. Strange enough though, I never stopped loving them. My mother, especially, I have always regarded dearly. She had not only been a pivotal influence in my life but also someone I always looked up to; no matter the circumstances she always had a kind word for everyone and a heart that overflowed with love and kindness for all. Last year I was involved in a bad car accident. The accident was the catalyst we all needed to get together again. For the first time in twenty-one years, I went home.
What an experience! We laughed almost constantly for the first 24 hours, which we then extended by another 24 hours, again filled with laughter, joy and expressions of gratitude, love and support.
I wondered how it was that the patterns of love, could have survived that long an absence. Why did I not feel any resentment anymore? Why is it that forgiveness flowed from both sides so easily?
I may come back to the other elements in this series of posts on Superpowers, but for now, I want to focus on Love; also known as the ability to Love-and-be- Loved.
The funny thing about this Superpower (top five motivators), is that research has shown that people that have it, also has improved chances of making their relationships last.
The research has indicated that only 20% of couples were still together after 20 years, where neither person had this Superpower. Compared to 60% where only one person has it, and 80% if both partners have it as a superpower. So the question beckons, do you have this as a superpower? I had to find out.
Mother, Husband and I: Something in common
I met my husband 17 years ago in Amsterdam. We are not yet at the 20-year mark, but I am positive we’ll make it. Why? Because, as with my mother, I gave my hubby the same Superpowers test. And guess what. Not only is the ability to Love-and-be-Loved in my mom’s top 5 it is also in his and mine.
Is it in yours? Even if it is not, the Gottman Institute has been researching what keeps couples together. In this week’s challenge, we use their recommendations to help us improve our relationship with the ones we love.
So it doesn't matter if your relationship is on solid ground or a bit wobbly. We can all use the tips below to help us improve our connectedness with our loved ones.
Five things you can do to improve your relationship
Partings: Take two mins each morning to find out at least one thing about what the other person is going to do this day.
Reunions: At the end of each day, have a stress reduction conversation. For twenty minutes, talk about your day and how it made you feel.
Affection: Touch sensations that come from a place of tenderness and forgiveness. Minimum five minutes per day. This includes kissing, holding, hugging etc
Once weekly date: Just the two of you in a relaxed atmosphere. Two hours once a week.
Admiration and Appreciation: Give genuine appreciation and affection at least once a day. Tell the other person about the positive things they bring into your life and the wonderful things they do.
To find out if Love is one of your Superpowers take the Superpowers Test and see if it is in your top 5: www.superpowers.info